San Francisco, never change. The Castro district of San Francisco almost saw a terrible blow torch attack this week. I say “almost” because, luckily, two people were there to stop it. Those people were also naked.

In a tale that can only be described as “ChatGPT, tell me the most San Francisco crime story possible,” a “crazy kind of pirate guy” approached some people on the street and threatened to attack them with a blow torch. Luckily, a pair of nudists happened to be standing nearby and prevented the crime from escalating any further—and it was all caught on camera for our viewing pleasure.

NEW: San Francisco n*dists save a Brazilian tourist after a "pirate" tried blowtorching him.

This may be the most San Francisco thing I've ever seen.

The incident reportedly happened in the Castro district, a "gay-friendly neighborhood."

N*dists Pete Sferra and Lloyd Fishback… pic.twitter.com/TJlLLz6E18

— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) July 11, 2024